DarknesS

2010-12-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

haha its been a longgggg time! 1 whole year actually haha damn this 2010 is almost over. well i guess no one comes to this blog anymore (: poor thing.

well then, lets see.. this years been kinda fun and lots of ups and downs. and i find myself asking questions again and again and again. why did this happened, that, and why i'm feeling like this, and many more.. haha

in the end, all i can say is. its better to depend on yourself than others. hey i'm not against depending on others but because ultimately you have to look back to yourself for support. not everyone is always there for you. sounds pretty much like i'm a loner hahaha

seems like i have lots of regrets in this life, i don't know when it will end. well it has to end. i need to get my life movinggggg! damn biggest regret of 2010 was my officership ended like.. pretty fast. well too bad for myself SUCK IT UP YO haha still looking back.. i'm quite disappointed with myself.

oh wells. take away the positive and keep it with you for the rest of your life. what i have learnt i will carry along with me forever. hopefully hahaha what i didn't get to learn.. hopefully i will find out what i have missed. regrets keep me going because they tell me that i can't stop trying, can't give up. not now.. not ever. because if i do, nothing will ever be done. and i don't wanna live that way. (:

kpop ftw musickeepsmealive.

dancing is something new

training is never ending

THE HARDEST PART IS TO GET STARTED, ONCE YOU START YOU DON'T STOP

LETS GOOOOOO!

damn i miss those times we never had.

2009-10-13T20:21:00.004+08:00

heyhey~ just 3 more days and JC life ends. that's damn fastttt and 'A' levels is like in 29 days or something.. damn.

well i guess its time to say goodbye to people from t13. haha

i somehow feel less attached to cj than i was to sji. was it because too little time was spent here? too much has happened? i don't really know..

all i know is.. well nothing. feels like i wasted the 2 years. i realise i swear alot in cj, something that has never happened before. maybe cause its easier to put on a strong front than let them see the weak side.

and yet the last 2 weeks of school has been almost hell for me.. not just school life but my family also. so much for a family holiday. the idea which crumbled in 2days. things that you still have not understand, things that i try to explain to you, things that you choose not to listen. and then everything falls apart. i can't hold the family alone. i'm not enough. and i realise something. i'm always the first to object and reject any plan, be it school stuff or family. and in the end i'm the one to try pull everything back. why is it me? i'm damn tired of it. but everytime.. i can't seem to let it go that way.

rml. well i guess it wouldn't make a difference. its just 2 more days. i guess i'll leave it as that? so close yet so far. even if more time was given i'll prob never reach. you're just in a different place from me.

goodbye.

2009-09-05T02:05:00.003+08:00

well although i said i wasnt gonna blog anymore but yeah here goes (:

but i really want to say. wait for me. i'll catch up to all of you guys again. after A levels. at least its a promise to myself =)

damn but i think my birthday this year is quite disappointing for too much reasons but still im grateful. =D

i'll take the burden upon my shoulders now and face what i should have a long time ago. Stand on your own two feets and its time to take off.

2009-07-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

what are we here for?

why am i here?

i cant find what im looking for. maybe cause i dont know what im looking for. gloomy shits, what's wrong with me -.-

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]
(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

i can't believe after so long of searching i still can't find this thing called motivation. zZz

2009-06-19T20:08:00.003+08:00

hm i just finished Code Geass S1 &S2 in like 3days?
one of the best animes that i've watched definately. nice ending.
Zero Requiem

2009-06-12T22:24:00.001+08:00

constant reminder of what happened,
its like i cant escape it.

why?

guess i should concentrate on studies first.. but then again.. where's the study mood.

2009-05-29T23:58:00.003+08:00

okay i was supposed to be asleep by now. but then cause tmr's hockey is cancelled. so i dont care alr. and just like that. my plans for tmr is screweddddddd. i dunno what to do.

and i just ended from a almost 3 hours of CS with adam and linh. although i was talking to my cousin who came over for like almost 1hour. lol still alot though.

talked about my studies and stuff. quite alot to think about again.

rawr. i wanna go drink.
i wanna go play.
i wanna have fun.

who to drink with. who to play with. who to have fun with.
Something's missing from my life.

2009-05-27T22:10:00.003+08:00

okay firstly my blog is open to public again. cause my mum wants to read, so to save her the time of typing her email and password i might as well just leave it open to public. okay i just ate a packet of durians. damn full. haha

okay next, i think sometimes i'm just blogging whatever i am feeling at the moment so pls dont get offended by it in any case or over react to it.

and i just feel like ranting about everything that's going on.
its just too boring. nothing big is happening. everyday is just like.. going on normally.. nothing much, nothing that surprises me.. just so plain.
exams exams, first up is econs. which im not very very prepared for. then GP. hm not like i really do anything to prepare for it. but i dont want a S or U for it.

i'm kindof gonna give up totally about this already. its just not going anywhere. so i might as well move on right. whether i can or not. that's a different thing. i keep waiting but nothing ever happens.

girls. 'can't live with them, but can't live without them either.'
how? zZz

and i'm still bothered about what's going on in your life. sometimes i wonder why i wasn't given the chance.

2009-05-24T13:49:00.003+08:00

why do ppl bother to appear offline? im not referring to those who do it for fun but those who really just like to appear offline. okay maybe it pisses me off cause its like, i dont freaking see a reason for it. and then ppl who want to talk to you can't find you. hmm well done.

okay saturday was freaking wasted. but i did talk quite abit with mau at dinner. wonder how's his comps today.

im supposed to be studying.. but the weekends are just not allowing myself to. i just feel like slacking haha

damn i still haven found my drive in life and my purpose to this mess.

2009-05-18T22:55:00.001+08:00

finding something that i am good at is so difficult. what the fuck.

am i just average at everything. i want to excel in something.

2009-05-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

and so.. hockey is over now. sadly.
i just feel that its so wasted even though i didnt get to play much. and coach's eyes were like telling me he didnt trust me to play.
but you know what? i think i could at least understand my own capabilities in defending. i dont believe im weaker than any of them out there.

have you ever tried running on the track while its raining and there's lightning? hahah well i got to, since the pe teachers didnt put up the lightning alert sign.
and i kindof thought about how it would be like to die from a lightning strike. Bam! and you'll be gone? i think it'll take less than a sec.
imagine if you saw the lightning coming towards you. hoho...

no one to celebrate with even if i produce my best results. i don't see the happiness in life.

2009-05-12T20:12:00.003+08:00

lifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelifelife

somehow i keep telling myself, no matter how screwed up your life is, don't complain. there's always someone else having a worse life out there. each of us have our own problems to handle.

and someone told me that even if you are feeling sad, you aren't supposed to show it.

its certainly not the best time of my life now. but i believe it can get better.
let me enjoy school just like how i did in sec4 (:

2009-03-12T00:23:00.005+08:00

Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me~

CTs are almost gone whoo although i dead for chem & maths lol
i hope the march holidays are gonna be funnnn
science camp & hockey camp (:

what was i thinking man.. seriously.

2009-02-03T22:57:00.002+08:00

Sians..
i'm tireddddd
its kind of like training almost everyday. and hw now and then.
damn i wish i was facil for this week only haha

how is it that it can be so simple for some people?
or did it just look simple.

2009-01-25T23:10:00.003+08:00

i just saw dewu perform on chnl 8 for cny. oh well. come to think about it, i dont think im ever going back there. not the place for me. i dont think i was ever accepted as a friend to them anyway. come to think of it, i was there since sec1 till sec4 and stopped for a year before going back for like half a year and then giving up again. same reason as why i stopped in the beginning anyway. i didnt feel like i was accepted there. i could almost say i dont have any friends there. i dont know what went wrong along the way. but its the past. so be it.

more or so often in life things dont go my way. come to think about it, my primary school life was a waste of time. i didnt learn anything.

2009-01-14T21:30:00.005+08:00

im tired tired tired~ ><" its only the 1st week of school train train train need to work harder this year. as well as my studies. haHa (: or at least i hope to. beep test. 10.8 needa improve on it. i wanna hit 9mins + for 2.4km run this year =D wonder if i'll make it. study study. i hope i can find the motivation for it. i think she's pretty

2009-01-09T23:26:00.002+08:00

tick tock. cjc open house~
haha dunno what i expected of it, but its still fun anyway (:
oh and hockey pt. omg i seriously suck at suicides.

i think im screwed for first week of school. lol.
time for school to start then. 2 days time.

should i have....

2008-12-31T18:19:00.003+08:00

last day of 2008~
this year seemed to have passed a little too fast. and not like i really had any achievements this year, oh wells...

less than 6hours to 2009. hope its gonna be better. no wait i mean it have to get better, i cant get stuck like this! hahah
this year is really quite screwed up. i dont want to have a similar one.
All the best for 2009!~
courage & confidence seems to be missing from me ever since.
i want to learn to survive alone.
i don't think i'll ever forget you, but it'll never be the same.
family before friends or friends before family?

2008-12-19T03:36:00.003+08:00

i can't sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! not the first night that i can't sleep in brunei already haiz..

im just blogging for fun haha everyone's asleep ):

bored bored bored boredddddd~ haven't seen my friends for nearly 2 weeks noww and i wont be seeing zy adam till like dunno when... i think next year lol

i wanna go back soon then can go stayover at ppl's house (:

2008-08-30T14:16:00.002+08:00

life is harsh. but what can you expect from the world now?

maybe being a student is better, you would never have to worry about the 2895023 more stuff that adults have to.

i suppose its my turn to say sorry.

2008-08-24T22:07:00.002+08:00

you know what? you piss me off so badly. stop acting the good person. cause you AREN'T and you never will be. simple things which you cant even do and you want to move on to other things? screw off.

i can't be bothered about who is reading this blog anymore. i'll just say anything i want to.

my life is so screwed up i cant think of a way out. and you arent helping at all. so stop trying.

2008-08-22T01:02:00.003+08:00

ahhhh~ lol cant believe im awake at 1am now and there's school tmr =.=

im so bored... nothing interesting is going on... school's like some waste of time... i'm so negative today... T.T

bleh whatever.. i should go sleep =D

2008-08-17T00:41:00.003+08:00

there's sooooooooo much things going on at once. school sucks. i can't imagine working.

training, studying, and im beginning to like this crazy 1T13 class :)
all the crazy theories and training stuff we do in class. psp, laptop cs.

i cant wait for promos to be over. although i need to study for it first. and im too lazy to do pw.. shit.. but still have to do in the end. im hoping i get to stay in this class next year.

im just bored now and i haven't posted for a long time =)
and you know what? more than once i feel that in the end i would be left alone. and i hate that. and i hate that feeling like as if im being taken for granted.

2008-06-30T17:29:00.004+08:00

wwwwoooooooooo 3 nights not at home since friday!

viceroy came back on friday night ^^ long time no see haha

went to play arcade with him on sat and he got me a card for initial D 4 although im still not good at it. then we played pool =D talk cock all the way haha oh and went to buy his jeans $100+ for one levis jeans... bloody ex man... dinner at roxy basement, ban mian!! woo damn nice =D then after that aunt came to pick us back and i got to stay one more night~ but we slept like quite early lol both nights were watching friends and anime and chatting =)

next day got up at 11+ and had one game of dota 2v3insane ai+ and the game was for like 1hour 20mins or something... damnnnnnnnnnn longgggggggg~ aunt cooked fish porridge for lunch then went to alter vice's jeans and repair 3 watches. another 2 hours at arcade xD hahaha then back to vice's home and then mine. changed and went down to grandma's place to meet the others for dinnerrrrr! ^^ hungry~ nice to see all the ppl again =D and the cousins went high during dinner singing karaoke hahahaa nice songs! and some can really sing well =) then we had durian cake! damn nice hahaha and the dinner was awesome! and i was allowed to go zy's place to watch the finals xD

then after that i followed vice and told aunt to drop me off at still road lor G. and waited for some bastard for like 30mins. went to andre's house but they were leaving already so only got to sit for a while then left to go back wanton mee to eat but no buses already so had to walk, 8 of us walking on the road like old times but different ppl xD and i think someone has made himself our 'enemy' lol oh and we tried scary those who were walking behind hahaa zy victor ran first then me and sameer like something happened. i heard some guy say 'eh fuck' and 'gogogo' hahaha but andre and karan stopped them from running, bloody hell spoil fun.... but nvm their balls drop also lol wanton mee shop but i was still full so me and sameer went to change at his place then met the rest to go zy's place. oh and walking back someone saw something huh suddenly ask the whole group to walk faster. maybe his eyes playing tricks or he really saw something but whatever it kept him shut for like 1hour which was kindof good for everyone haha! watched part of a movie then the match and some drinks hahaha then we went for LAN after the match, at first everyone was like didnt want to walk haha but after that it was a nice game =) then the rest played battlefield and i played audi, long time never play haha =D lan for like 2hours? then went to mac for breakfast (: haha when only 5 of us left we got into a state of craziness or something, lack of sleep probably cause we just started to laugh at everything and anything one of us said. laugh till my stomach pain! hahaaha the 5 of us were making so much noise in the mac lah! hahhaah but was damn funnnnnnnnnny!! wooooooooooooooooooo! nice day ^^ then homed and slept from 9am to 5pm hahahahaa total knockout!! love our group of friends =D

2008-06-08T00:56:00.002+08:00

i'm down with cough =( wasn't that bad on fri but somehow got worse on sat? stupid thing...

i'm thinking of how i have wasted my time away, haha oh wells... totally didnt study on saturday. slacking away~

...
i don't know what to type... i don't know what i am thinking either...

2008-05-30T00:30:00.002+08:00

wooo~ what a boring dayyyyyyyyyyy -.- should have went for the physics camp thing... at least got something to do...

i practically stoned for the whole day. didnt even launch cabal.. like dont feel like playing already but no moon study yet too. so i just read my book, play guitar, learning 'more than words' and my finger hurts ><

i want to go out and play sports damn.. but few of my friends do that.. haiz.. okay i want to swim tmr but somehow i dunno why i got this scared feeling of getting cramps while swimming. and what if no one is there.. too long never swim le.. just feel scared ><

i'm kindof confuseddddd... i dunno why..... what the hell man...
i realise i'm damn scared of loneliness. probably cause of the many times i went home from school and no one is at home. and i dont really have a friend who is always there for me. no offense man but it feels like that.

okay lets see.. next week should start studying. my plan was 1 week break 3 week study and theres a break of like few days during the supposedly 3week study thing... i hope i dont die for MYE lol

hell.. life sucks..

2008-05-27T22:35:00.002+08:00

life isn't how i imagine it to be. sometimes i think everyone is too self centred, yes its human nature to be so but some people are just too inconsiderate at times.. oh wells..

changes can't be avoided. how much a person change depends on himself.
but remember that he was once like this. and that means whatever he was, its still in him.
i wish to believe in this.

i realise i do alot of thinking in my head. not exactly say it out. sometimes i see no point saying it out cause no one thinks the same way in everything, although there may be times when it is similar.

i don't understand why people expect things from others when they aren't prepared to do it for others themselves. i don't understand why people put down others for things they try, especially from family members.

Most of our life is illusory. Everything in the past is memory, everything in the future is imagination. Those are both illusions - memories are unreliable and we just speculate about the future. The only thing that is completely real is the one instant of the present - and that is constantly changing from imagination to a memory.

and there's a reason why im not updating.

2008-05-11T00:27:00.002+08:00

ahhhh ok ok update update... sianssss

hmm JC SUCKS haha you've got to agree to that man... well i better start studying also if i dont want to die for mid years. i've been failing like every test? sads man
i feel like ranting about the teachers but... net not safe la.. haha..
pw quite screwed up also =.= im gonna kill my team members...

i haven't been hanging around with sameer and zy lately.. cuz they either have hockey or i have lessons.. and no one's asking to go out on saturdays already.. i suppose everyone is busy?

my life now consists of CABAL, school (studying) and thats all... so.. boring la... fk.. cabal just to waste my time away and play around. at least i can talk to jerome about it in class not that bad haha and guang wei just joined in.

everyone is telling me not to study but they can still pass =.= i hate it when ppl tell me they never study and get top in class

i've got a boring life man... stayed at home the whole of today leh can you believe it? its a saturday and i get to stay at home ALONE from like 1pm to 8pm zzzzzzzzzzzzzz dinner also eat alone, im going mad soon i tell you..

zhihao, gordon say 30th may got hc band concert tix $10 and $12 you want to go? or anyone wants to go?

life sucks for now, seriously. shall we get together and stay over at sameer's house during june holidays? =D

2008-04-16T22:42:00.003+08:00

went to watch hockey match today. CJ vs ACI ( 0-1 )

well... that was a stupid last minute goal... unexpected.. but you guys did well. you know it. it was a nice match, well played. don't let one match get you down. all the best for the next match. you know you can do it.

a battle lost, but the war is not over.

i kindof hate PW now... especially my group of super quiet people with only me and john talking. its really tough...

2008-04-13T13:12:00.003+08:00

long time no blog!

4stations and 2.4km done but... im not really happy with 2.4km i got 10.33 with moses and the both of us started swearing like mad cuz we missed A by 3secs =.= so we are planning to run again for an A. standing broad jump 240cm ^^V super happy. sit-ups 61 lol chiong too much la. shuttle run 9.8s stumbled abit but still A so nevermind. sit and reach... 42cm is a C... hell sia.. pull ups not done but probably A =)

went to vice's house on friday! well since he had to go off on sat night. played a little of PS2 then somehow vice and vick had some gf prob, one went to talk on the phone for like 30mins while the other stone somewhere. well i tried chem hw but cant do la.. i didnt really understood it. then after that dota awhile. oh we went to play some really really old version of dota and the AI suck lol but it was just for fun. went out for roti prata at 1am+ cuz we got hungry haha dinner not enough. i had choco prata and egg, the choco was not bad haha vice had choco and something else i forgot the name ><>

in the end we got up at 9.05am hahaha but vice's friends were late anyway. so we went to get mac breakfast at parkway first before heading to the bball court. tried a few shots and oh.. we spilled one cup of milo haha..

then had a 2v2 game vice and mf against me and bingxun well since it was 1guy 1girl against 2guys obviously we won haha then some other ppl came and played. well i rested after 2 games or so no mood to play. haha legs abit tired also. so just watch them play. then it rained like siao.. and stopped playing. then bingxun's sis sent us to parkway for lunch. bingxun left cuz he was going to someone else's house warming. then we went opposite parkway to the foodcourt. after that we went to play arcade and like after 1hour or more we realised we left the bball at the foodcourt then had to go back to check if its still there. luckily one of the cleaners kept it soon we got it back haha

we went back home around 4+ 5 and bathed then played dota and TD then packed up stuff and waited for his mum to fetch us to airport. had dinner at the foodcourt, ate till super full. then waited till vice went in at like 10.50pm and reached home at 11.30pm. and slept at 1.30am haha if im not wrong.

and today i just woke up at 1pm haha too tired. and i dont feel like doing the tutorials!!!!!!!! T.T

2008-03-31T21:48:00.002+08:00

haii... i hate the feeling when i see everyone going for their CCAs and i'm like doing nothing.. and if i go home.. sure play comp haha

well one thing's sure is, if i dont do the homework i'm bound to die in class. guess i shouldn't be playing too much then.

good thing vice is back for 2 weeks~ haha my dota pal but none of us lasted through the 2 nights when i stayed over. vick and vice slept early at 2am during first nite but i wasnt that sleepy. but second night.. when me and vice said to play more, i got tired at 2am hahaha ><

oh and there was a mad homework rush on sun night.. with mao haha but that stupid guy started talking about games halfway damn distracting la but luckily we finished up

everyday its school till 4 or 5 then homework or gaming. sux man... everyone's not free to go out. everyone seem so busy... ):

2008-03-25T22:09:00.002+08:00

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh school sux! really. stupid time table that end earliest at 3pm only. and most of the days are 4pm or 5pm.. and the econs proj that made me and weekang stay at clare's place till 12midnight.. i hope its not that bad ><
mass pe has proven that i need more training haha really almost died at the last set.

i'm thinking of going back to wushu. soon ba. and to ask if i can go hockey training. although i didn't get to go the hockey camp... i guess i'll just work harder.

ohya.. our so-called best class T13.. i realise alot of people never do their homework everyday haha oh and zy.. you can give us an update on your blog you know... hahahaha =D i'm sure you are part of the majority that can handle it well huh hahaha :)

and stop making fun of my class lah... so what if its 4H2? im still going out with you all like old times.. it just pisses me off to hear you all say like i'm not part of you all even if its just a joke. once or twice ok lah... don't keep repeating it.

there sameer, updated =) ask zy to update his. haha

2008-03-14T00:22:00.003+08:00

at least i dont have any regrets to what i did. not this time at least.

woots now twin bro has taken over vice playing with me dota! although we suck hahaha
aye.. garrett is busy with you-know-who. haha
i suppose zy and sameer are tired from training. but i bet you guys enjoyed it.
no homework done yet. well i am dead for physics cuz i dont even get the first question. and chem is just too long... im lazy to do... haha

well it seems like everyone's having their own problem right now. i hope things get better for everyone.

it's finally over. =)

2008-03-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

haha i got this from zh's blog

i find it quite true

2008-03-08T17:54:00.004+08:00

i don't know if what i'm doing is right.

confused.

i was ready to end it but there was a twist of events.

now i'm at a lost.

i don't want to make the same mistakes.

it's still the same as before isn't it?

no matter how long i wait or what i do.

it's probably not going to change.

2008-03-03T21:38:00.002+08:00

i went to see the doc today and ask about my skin. he told me that i should avoid the sunlight since im getting burnt. best solution was to stop hockey. but wth man this is so fucking unfair. my skin probably wont be able to take the sunlight even if its not hockey.

if i wanna stay in hockey i have to wear long sleeves to play. wow man.... new style =.=

and i really want a sports cca.. how sia... fk lah.. stupid skin..

2008-03-01T22:37:00.002+08:00

rain rain rain the whole day. but we still went to play soccer =D i brought bball but couldnt play cuz outdoors was wet and there was some netball thingy at the indoors court.

we played with some other ppl and i kindof suck at soccer now... everything i see the ball i want to use hand hahaa too much bball. but i think keeping was easier for me. saved 2 goals ^^V (out of 3 that was shot at me while i was keeper)

followed yew tong and his family after that since we got nothing to do. so we just talk crap throughout till like 4+ when jiaqi came to join us. taidi, bridge and more nonsense before we decided to go for lan. i was supposed to go church for fun with josh and kim but couldnt make it. so mayb next week. hehe i owned kevan and jiaqi in dota =D and my cs not that bad now haha

i think i'll go soccer and bball with kevan every sat morn. so at least got something to do. and go yew tong's house one of these days.

no one's at home now except me... =.="

2008-02-29T20:00:00.002+08:00

argh hockey really pisses me off. i don't mind not being in first team. but at least the camp should be for everyone? or at least those who joined in PAE? fking hell... everything also first team first team... cb sia

now its either odac or hockey. the weekend shall be for me to decide.

oyea tmr going to play at ccab with old friends. hopefully =D
basketball and soccer! and lannn!!! hahaha

be back later.

2008-02-28T19:06:00.002+08:00

what a weekkk..... i cant really remember what happened leh.. lol

hmm lets see.. in general... im not sticking with my class for lectures and class time is really quite boring now... and only wee kang joined in my class... sameer, zy, maurice, garret and twin are far far away.

but there's always hockey! haha 15 rounds around the track on wed. oh and i've been doing GST with some odac-ers just for fun. and i realised im super weakkkkk legs aching like mad after the run during the night. so i went to sleep early hahaha

pool is the most common thing for us now. and it seems quite difficult to get ppl out. just like hanging around or something cuz its always still the few of us. oh wells mayb as time past by it'll be better?

1t10 was filled with illusions.
ouch, watch your step.

2008-02-22T22:42:00.003+08:00

i cant stand this family any longer.

screwed up sister. and a mother that never sides by me. a father who works forever and neglects the family till a state of chaos in the house. the 'elder' sister who can't even think for herself.

i know my dad is baised towards me. and so my mum is trying to be nicer to my sister. but the thing is my dad isnt with me for the whole fking year. so what do you expect? what can you understand about me? just small thing from you is enough for me. but you wont give it.

RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN'T BE IN THIS WORLD. MAYBE YOUR DECISION 16 YEARS AGO WAS WRONG.

what i'm wishing for now will never come true.

2008-02-21T22:16:00.002+08:00

orientation 2! IG14!
but its not as fun as O1... more than half the ppl from my ig are 2nd intakes and most are appealing out of CJ. its kindof tough to get everyone together. but i'll still try.

some people just arent worth making friends with.
but some are just the best friends you can get.

2008-02-20T21:55:00.003+08:00

i got a guitar from my cousin too! gonna start learning myself. hopefully haha but at the same time i feel lazy....

2008-02-20T21:48:00.002+08:00

i'm tired. confused. happy. sad. and all the crap in almost one day.

almost half of 422 is in CJ now lols and we are playing more pool. because like sameer said.... "its easier to..... " haha im not typing out the whole thing. but pool really is draining my money.

soon we will all need to study and the outings will probably be lesser and lesser.

oyah... i got a new aim. haha and its.. not being so quiet and be a more fun person. need to smile more =D

peeps. ronney is asking to watch L's movie. anyone up for it?
and i haven't got to watch kungfu dunk and jumper.

oyah... i really prefer first intake's mass dance.

2008-02-18T22:53:00.006+08:00

if you say something and not mean it.. why not dont say it.
if you are asking me if its the first day i know you all.. i really feel like it is.

i somehow feel that you have changed alot. but i don't know why either. zy.
sameer. its just stupid how everytime we plan to do something and back out at the last min.

2008-02-14T23:19:00.003+08:00

well i haven't been blogging for some time.

all i have to say is today's started well and ended up like shit. dont ask me why man... its just screwed.

but at least i know who to turn to when i need some people to talk to. old friends who will always be there for you.

he asked. she's not ready.
he didnt even get to ask. it ends today.

of cuz there are people who are enjoying today. im seeing both sides today.

to those who tried. try again.
to those who got it. treasure it.
to those who cant be bothered. soon you'll be.
to those who are being stalked. be careful.

2008-02-03T12:29:00.000+08:00

2/2/2008
out the whole day on sat!

morn had soccer and basketball with kevan, yew tong, jiaqi. im addicted to basketball!!
met yew tong at tanglin cc first, then i asked if he wants to play basketball at the cc cause kevan and jiaqi probably haven't reach ccab. so we ended up taking free throws for like 20mins or more lol
then we went off to ccab to find them for soccer but........... no space to play, too many ppl so we ended up borrowing a basketball to play. oya we played against 3 basketball players who were like taller than all of us... 3v4 and the score was 11 to 9, too bad we lost =(

then we went to get drinks and showered at around 12+ before going off to lan. we took a cab but i haven't paid so... i owe yew tong money also lol but i only got to play for around 1hr 30mins cuz i had to get to bishan mrt for ig meeting at andrea's place. supposed to meet at 3.30 but i left lan place at 3.30 hahahaha

met kim at bishan and josh was the first and only person there at andrea's place. then i was told grace and siokping couldnt go -.- and josh was scolding me for being late. then there was only 4 of us there playing cards till 6, i reach at 4.45 i think, super late haha

around 6pm more people came and josh started the bbq. the guys were cooking instead of the girls -.- and it was drizzling

ohya we saved some satay for belmond and rod cuz they haven't came and...
Jj: hey belmond! eh where's the satays we saved for him
Andrea: haha... i dropped the plate when i was bringing it for him...

ok... nevermind... we should have just eaten the satays lol

dinner was at 8.20pm josh, ben, hanxun and me were at the bbq pit for like 2hrs till rod came and.... everything was his to do hahaha well we didnt play any games or throw ppl into the pool cuz we were just talking and eating.

oh i nearly wanted to dunk kim but...
kim: i got josh's phone with me!
Jj: but i thought you said put back in the room already?
andrea: me and kim just happened to say the same thing(that they placed the phone back already) and you believed..
josh and me were like wth, cheat us sia...

oh.. i got the last train to marina bay hahahah lucky me

1/2/2008
i've learnt my lesson not to go out with twin after school cause she will end up making you study. bad influence! hahahaha

oh and i still owe you choco, too bad haha

2008-01-28T21:58:00.001+08:00

ouch.....~ first hit on left shin by the hockey ball by amet lol we were training while the rest were running 13 rounds thats around 5km

well thought dont need to do 13rounds was good till i was hit -.- but then on the bright side im gonna slack for PE tmr hahaha

well im too tired to do anything now, so im gonna sleep soon. long day tmr till 5pm -.-

oya... amet agrees that she's eye candy hahaha now sameer wants to see her also lol

2008-01-25T21:00:00.000+08:00

my dad called and asked my results. he finds it good actually considering that he failed his Os once and had to retake. my mum finds it ok too but i dont find so... cause im comparing to my friends and the times now are different from last time...

and thanks to all the friends, yew tong, ivan, george, jingkuan, twin, kim and some others who asked if i was ok. i'll get over it.

i heard from ivan that your grandfather just passed away today... its really unexpected... i don't know how you are feeling now... nor how i can console you... hope you'll be ok...
it seems to be a bigger shock than my results, partly because i rmb when both my grandfathers died.

2008-01-25T11:34:00.001+08:00

i know who my true friends are.

2008-01-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well Os results today… total let down…

In the early morn I heard that our year sji batch was in band 1 and art had 100% A1s. zhibin got 9A1s, god knows how he did he lah… -.- mayb its cuz everytime also nvr go out lol.

Saw everyone back in school again. Dam happy to see everyone again ahahah it was like hugs everywhere and shouting of names and going around to find teachers. Dam fun to talk and just sit around anywhere in school .

Hmm then 2pm was starting off well. Best batch in sji, best results, 100% A1 for art!!! Woots!!!! The whole year paid off! Then had the eagles award (free $150!!!) and best progress awards and other sub statistics, cant rmb lol

Then the results. Eng B4 combine humans B4 physics A2(wtf? Unexpected) chem B3 emaths A1 amaths A2(knn…) geog A2(fked) Chinese A1, art A1. so… fked up physics which I didn’t expect and A got A2 and amaths A2 zzzz wtffffff and eng B4 siao liao… my single digit fly away. Didn’t expect a double digit at all.

I just had to walk away as fast as I could after that. Cause I couldn’t help but cry. And so was ivan. But he had 7 points and failed HCL that’s why hes crying. And me… screwed up 3 subs.

Everyone seem to be getting so good results and I got 11. then during prelims I got 9…. Wth.. totally SUCKS. I almost decided not to go out with zy, sameer they all but decided to cuz if I go home I’ll just stone and cry again.

But quite waste of time to go out also… cuz we ended up eating ice cream, pool and went back at 7+ when everyone said to go back home late? Wth. And didn’t even have dinner… so went back…

K i really hate my family now. Went back first thing my sis said was “somebody not happy get 11 for O level lah… “ what the fuck man cant you be more sensitive. Bloody idiot. And my mum’s not happy also. Whatever lah screw it… I guess frens are just better, at least they care rather than my fking family. And there wasn’t dinner at home so I went out by myself to eat and took like 1 hour. Didn’t even feel like going back till 9+ then I just went straight to my room and blast my music. And fell asleep. Lol till 11+ then wake up.

Well glad to know you are happy with your results.

2008-01-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

been going out alot lately and still trying to get used to mix school. im getting too lazy to blog much.

i miss my art and wushu.... but cjc doesnt have art. and if i want to continue art i have to drop one sub and go another jc.

and there's alot of homework that im trying to avoid haha... well mayb i need to get serious soon. mayb not. hahaha

oya.. everyone's getting so worked up cause of Os results soon... but what's the point? its over... in fact i don't even know what to expect for it.

you... nvm...
need to clear my mind

the simple 3 lettered question which i found so irritating, im asking myself now instead.

2008-01-15T18:55:00.000+08:00

can't say i didn't see that coming but neither could i avoid it. so you would rather NOT believe it when i told you and now it becomes MY fault? whatever twin, i so didn't expect you to type that. forget it.

hmm i think im gonna take up hockey and go back at the same time. hope its not too much for me to handle. i still cant stand walking in the class and seeing like almost everyone doing work. lectures are dam funny with adam nxt to you. all the nonsense comes out and leslie was playing hangman during GP with adam throughout the whole 1 hr LOL and im already hearing things like "who like who". cant say i didn't expect that either.

i was quite looking forward to PE and it rained -.- fack.

its so tough to get an IG outing now... or mayb i will try roderick's way, book in 1week advance haha ohya....... mass convo last night with IG was just dam funny especially kim and rod... ((:

2008-01-14T18:50:00.001+08:00

ahhhhh i have the sudden urge to go back to wushu although i didn't really liked the ppl there =( but i want to go back!!!

so i was thinking either i ask if it can be taken as a cca or i will join hockey as cca but take it as a play play thing and join wushu but be more focused there. i think the latter is crazy but i have friends in hockey! =(( and we are already not in the same class, i dun wan to miss out anything with them...

seeing the things you do, i feel like i didn't even knew you well
i think i know how rumours always start about you... haha but i may be wrong..

even if its just an attration, i'm afraid to do anything.

2008-01-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

damn man i'm in the wrong class... 1T10 is like all those hardworking and study people which i'm not...

supposedly IG meeting cancelled and class outing was like... dinner at crystal jade which i didn't go... so i just stayed with sameer, zy and ernest which was like so much more fun... class outing like half the class not there -.-

its either im too used to having someone to like talk nonsense and complain too that now im not really used to not talking to the 2 of them much.. i kindof feel alone in my new class, its like i not really close to the 7 sji ppl and even though you are there its different from last time..

i remembered the time when i just called you for no apparant reason when i went down for a walk at night cause i was too angry with my family. its like... for no reason at all totally but just to rant and complain about my life but you listened.. it may not have been anything for you but it was a big difference to me..

when im doing nothing now... i look at my phone and want to sms someone but theres like no one to talk to..

i want to go back to the time when i nvr had to depend on someone else for my own matters..

damn man... twin you affected me

2008-01-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

IG24 vs 1T10
23 ppl vs 25 ppl
12 girls 11 guys vs 9 girls 17 guys
3sji vs 8 sji

oman fk this. long story short 1T10 wasn't as good as i expected and IG24 was alot more fun than i thought it could be.

i hope dragon boat isn't that bad tmr with 1T10

2007-12-30T21:22:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh what a longgg day and super tiring hahahaha woke up at 7.45am ... oversleep... lols nvm went to bathe and wait for everyone to get ready. my mum was charging her phone then i also charge mine but then.... my sis switched it off like 5mins after i was charging then my battery like... 70% -.-

then... my cousin(same age as my sis de) came over to follow us to east coast park, cause all dunno how to go then follow me... but they walk to fking slow i swear, i take one step they take 2 steps to catch up. So took 966 then 13 and got to east coast park around 9.45am and... no one else was there yet. vice and vick had golf then the rest all lagging dunno do what. so we started first and it was like some escort mission cuz my mum cycles slow. Went to the jetty there then rest and went back to the macs there again cuz more ppl came le around 10.30am going back that time my mum fell down. why? cuz so many ppl and the fking cyclist went so close to my mum and after my mum fell he just continue cycling and shook his head wtf man knn bastard i hope his mum falls down and breaks her hand or something. such an inconsiderate bastard. Oh wait why am i cursing his mum, should be he fall down and break his legs then dun need cycle for months bloody bastard. well lucky it wasn't a bad fall, no bleeding.

then my mum went with my aunt and i went off with vice.
D: so where u wan to go?
V: anywhere lor
D: go changi there ah?
V: dam far leh... anything lah
D: aiya can de lah
V: k lor
D: k lets go

and after half an hour....

D: wah knn 7.9km more
V: aiya go lah go lah
D: k lor

the 7km was a TOTAL STRAIGHT path all the way down... and we were not the only crazy ppl going from east coast to changi beach lol after that 7.9km i was getting hungry so had to look for food... but it was like another 3km till there was food and it was like... 12.40pm super hungry... but vice couldn't eat cause he had stomach indigestion so he only had drinks then 1.20pm time to get back to east coast park and it was like another 10+km lol

almost died going back and i was getting so bored i started saying random stuff and vice was like almost dead and not talking. i think was his stomach not feeling well

oya and i forgot to say i saw the areoplanes took off and land. lol k might sound like nothing but it was dam nice. i got a video of the plane flying over but cant play on comp =(

when we got back it was like.... 2.45pm haha totally drained ahhh lie down on the mat and i nearly fell asleep hahaha just laze around till 3+ going to 4pm then went to vice's house, bathe and on the air con woots dam shiok haha then went to eat dinner at 5+pm cause got hungry again haha

i saw another cousin kai xiang
kx: hey man i'm in the army now...
D: haha i know, why black specs?
kx: its standard man
D: hahaha

he sound so sad about it lor but i think he left one more year in army only. then nxt yr is vice then nxt nxt yr is me walao sian

oh and i saw my maths tutor cousin first thing he said was "wah hair so long ah" hahaha but tmr going to cut away le =(

then... me and vice went to lie on the bed and vick and his gf were on the other bed and she fell asleep. we could hear her snoring away even though she cover herself with the blanket hahahaha then me and vice nearly fell asleep when.... vick opened the door and the noise from outside filled the room

Vice and me: eh why u open the door... falling asleep le leh
Vick: wake up already lah, need to wake up
Vice: huh, today also no one's birthday....
Des: ya lor...

then vick closed the door and we went back to sleep hahahahaha if you are wondering why we said no one's bd, cuz everytime need call us out cut cake. lol

then i sleep till 8+pm but vice got up to watch one piece. i was called awake cuz need go back home le hahaha

2007-12-29T22:29:00.000+08:00

wooots~ i found auditions songs!! love those songs sia... i used to play audi just for those songs, then stupid audi didn't buy the songs and ended up with copyright probs -.- but nvm i got those that i like now! =DD

sending random songs to caroline now, nothing better to do ~.~

tmr go east coast!!! yay!~ out the whole day tmr i hope it doesnt rain while we are cycling. gotta take more pics tmr with vice and vick and my sis
hope nothing goes wrong tmr ~.~

today was such a retarded day.................................. at home for the whole DAY ahhhhh almost went crazy. too bad xiao mei kanna pangseh then chat with me whole day hahaha (sry if i sound evil =x )

2007-12-29T15:52:00.000+08:00

i'm waiting for that person... and i'll keep on waiting... till i meet that person who i will be able to trust totally.

2007-12-29T01:48:00.000+08:00

25th:
at home for nearly the whole day, doing nothing at all -.- brought my mum and sis out to play arcade. ok sounds retarded but my mother wanted to haha she wanted to play car racing ~.~ she always liked car games lol hmm but we also played the basketball thingy and i got 300+ for the first time haha ^^V

26th:
woke up late!!~ out the whole day with caroline, watched "i am legend" and got her shoe and went to bowl. went to amk hub also at night for dinner and got myself a wallet =D $39 but my dad is gonna pay and bought her a soft toy.... -.- elmo lols was going to watch movie again at night but didn't in the end

27th:
woke up at 2pm... @.@ then slack around and play game till went to sameer's house cuz going cycling =) this holiday cycle like dunno how many times... at first so many ppl wanted to go then in the end was only me, zy, sameer and terry. but it was still fun and super tiring.... stupid sameer... got home at like 10+pm lol

28th:
at home the whole day... so b-o-r-i-n-g....... played some games but i got bored then went to grandma's place for dinner and back home at 9+pm and i've been stoning here eversince o.o
foolish enough to have thought that you might like me and foolish enough to think that we could be together.

2007-12-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

was supposed to go cycling ytd evening but it was raining and my mum kept bugging me to go for dinner. so in the end i didn't go zy's house. then went to find my aunt and they decided to go park way for dinner... this is the 2nd time happening which is so fking lame cuz i end up at the same place that i was supposed to go. my mum and sis just are too irritating sometimes.

i was sleeping in the car all the way till fetch vice and went to park way. then first thing me and my cousin did was go to arcade lolss and some guy put a token for the initial D but never play so i played hahaha free sia... then played 2 rounds of the basketball thing and went off to mac. and then 2hrs+ of pool @.@ play until i sian lah... last few rounds i was dying le... lol

went back to find the parents then i decided to stay over at vice's house so went back to get clothes and when we were going back, we were telling racist jokes cuz it started with my aunt saying she hate those indians lol

nothing much at vice house, just dota and then was about to go to sleep then sameer call me go play lan at like 3am -.- wth man then keep asking me to go when i wanted to sleep... bastard... then ended up play from 5 to 6.30am and only played battlefield and i went back to vice house at 7.30am after breakfast at mac and slept till 2.40pm =x

lol i stopped typing at the previous para cuz i asked my cousin, vickie to send me back home ^^ seems like im not the most tired one around. he had to work on 23rd from 7pm till 24th 10am and then again from 24th, report at 4.30pm and work till like... 25th.. dunno what time... he had less than 4hrs sleep. that's more hardcore than me playing games man... that's like wtf lah.. poor guy, hope he takes care of himself :(

2007-12-23T01:36:00.000+08:00

Doing things for others that you know they would never do for you. Is it worth it?

Was i overeacting?

I've been spending time thinking why people around me do things that they did and affected me so badly. Many times I find out that they did not see the things that I do. Actions that they think was nothing but I find it hurting. Or mayb it just piss me off.

My friend told me once that humans were selfish. or at least there are times that they are. Fine, i'll live with that. i cant stand it when friends do things without telling you. hate that feeling.

i should have slept all the way. why the hell did i wake up.

2007-12-22T01:48:00.000+08:00

all conflicts are caused by different mindset and sometimes it really surprises me how different people can think. A same situation given to 2 different persons can end up with totally different endings depending on the actions one take. Most people do not agree with how another wants to do, either thinking it isn't as good or just totally discrimination. i dunno why am i typing this... but its just what i see and think.

the more things i see, the more confused i am.

ok i had a whole para scolding you for what you did but i realised something else. i'll just do what u wanted me to. or close to it. i will avoid you because you and i know that it is impossible to forget a person. why not just call him out to settle it. since the other J has given up on him. I'll see you after some time then.

2007-12-21T01:03:00.001+08:00

lol i think i went on a shopping spree today spent like... over $200 lol hmm.. new shoe, shirts, jeans, bag =D shoe $90, bag $60, 2 jeans $50+, one $10 t-shirt and a $40 shirt. and u wun see me buying anymore le (lol i only paid for the bag myself ^^) wanted a wallet but decided not to get one yet

my sis got a camera 8mega pixel, $499 i think... @.@ beat me hands down sia... li hai, li hai must learn from her nxt time =D

... im bored again... =.="
but there's outing tmr! with the usual =) watching national treasure~
im thinking of bringing my mum and sis to watch movie but... that stupid sister is telling me there's no nice movie she wants to watch now..... nvm... then she wun have any bd present i shall bring my mum to watch =)

2007-12-19T02:07:00.000+08:00

i've got a few question to ask for those who are reading my blog.

Q1.What would you do if your dad says that he can get a ps3 for you even though you know he is short on cash. but he tells you not to worry about it.
a. just get it
b. if he told you he can get it, then just go ahead and don't worry
c. get something else cheaper
d. refuse to accept anything

Q2. Do you think that a student's responsibility is only study?
a. yes
b. no

Q3. What is your greatest fear?
own answer

reply me on my tagboard if you want to. =)

2007-12-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

17th went to ziyang's house to watch soccer with sameer and karan also and liverpool lost.... lol sameer was just sad cuz he was expecting them to win. that was like the 2nd match of soccer that i watched lolss and most of the time i was using my laptop. then we went to sameer's house to put down our bag and left again. and his dog just barks non-stop -.-

we din sleep at all, i think thats expected and we went to eat wanton mee as usual but this time it wasn't a walk to to east coast but a random walk that ended us in a lan shop at around 3am lame sia... and no CS even better and the dota match was boring... cuz 2v2 not very fun need more ppl. i was so close to viceroy's house but my bag wasn't with me so i didn't go find him. then back at sameer's house talking crap and playing big 2 till morn again then we slept from 7 to 10 and karan couldn't get up. then was breakfast and pool till afternoon. and just when i wanted to go to viceroy's house it started drizzling so i waited till around 4 and then left with zy but viceroy didn't pick up my phone calls so i ended up camping at zy's house till 5+ lol sorry for putting up at your place. i should've left sameer's house earlier and reach viceroy's house before he went for his deep sleep. and it rained when i left zy house =.= and right after i bathed at viceroy's house we had to go out for dinner at sakae sushi cuz celebrate my sister's birthday although it already passed. i was almost falling asleep while eating lol pity i didn't get to stay over at viceroy's house =(

18th was just boring~.... woke up at like 1 and listened to songs the whole afternoon... went in maple a few times but nothing to do so basically wasted the whole day lor... -.-

now is the 19th and im still doing nothing zZz
i think im gonna start to emo again better stop typing le...

2007-12-15T01:33:00.000+08:00

well then first thing off my mind is... my mum didn't really scold me for going into Cj she just said study hard. =D hmm but it seems that alot of ppl dun like Cj but its my choice and what matters is yourself.

it seems like i haven been doing enough for my family so i guess i should be more careful on my choices nxt time. not going out today with my frens today was partly cuz i was tired and my sis wasn't at home so i din wan my mum to be alone again. i realise my mum is like a kid sometimes... lol well then tmr is either east coast if its not raining or stoning again. mayb i have to get my passport... o.o my sis bd is in 1 days time LOL i just remembered....

i was thinking quite alot last night,
its about time for me to move on and stop waiting for you, i suppose someone else can do that. i wasn't clear of those feelings and mayb it was just attraction. but u said it yourself that you wouldn't waste your time on someone u don't like and i suppose i shouldn't keep waiting then. i realise i can't even treat u as a normal friend too... so its a little tough for me although it may be nothing to you. mayb its me thinking a little too much but thats me and right now i may be doing something stupid/unreasonable/selfish but i decided to forget u totally if i am able too and hope time would help me out.

3/9/07 's bet was a mistake
1/11/07 to be able to see u again was good enough
oct'07 u probably shouldn't have replied my smses at all
you made your decision and i've made mine
its kindof obvious someone else likes u too and well all the best for you.

i think it was a mistake to put the link to my blog on my msn personal message so mayb i'll make a new blog or just stop posting =)
my posts are mainly my thoughts so... dun say its emo ok.. i think alot hahahah xD

2007-12-14T10:27:00.000+08:00

@.@ ended up like staying overnight at viceroy's house for like 3 nights. cuz sunday was too late aunt ask me to stay then wed was planned and thurs was too late again lol so now im back at home and............... no one is in -.- wth come back to an empty house... wow

hmm pae i went to cjc, din make it to vjc oh wells my mum said to study hard if i wan to stay at cj lol

mayb going out again later at 3 see first ba...

2007-12-12T02:19:00.000+08:00

im so bored........... and its like raining everyday -.- i dun feel like sleeping i dunno why... but theres like nothing to do.. no one to talk to on msn and viceroy playing maple, which im quite tired of le.. seems like being too free isn't good..

im starting to think of stupid things again, it just keep bugging me.. i hate the feeling of being helpless and not knowing what to do..

now im thinking of what to do tmr.. cuz i think i might be meeting vice onli during late afternoon.. but nothing's coming to my mind -.-

lol i stopped here for like 10mins staring at the comp screen...

i got a feeling my mum is gonna get mad if i dun get into vjc but well lets just see what happens

o.o what a random post

2007-12-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

lalala~ its 12am hahahaa wah super tired.................... -.- zzz sunday went to cut hair at 6+ then end up me and vice rush back to play maple hahaha so dumb lah then nvr buy dinner so wait for vick to get then he came back at 10+ and so my aunt decided that i was to stay over and when vick wakes up for work on monday morn then send me back lol hmm play and talk till like 3.30 oya and i rmb i died at wild cargo -.- then 3.30 supposed to sleep but me and vice ended up talking nonsense and he had a bet with his gf hahaha then 4.30 sleep 6.30am wake up and guess what, vice din sleep =.= he went to watch tv

reach home at 6.45am? around there then 7am my mum's alarm rang hahaha she wake up i go sleep but i overslept haizz woke up at 9.14am then nvr eat breakfast and chiong to bathe and go to amk mrt to take bus and then.... bowling alley nvr open =.= stupid caroline.. lol it says open at 12noon which was when we were supposed to meet joyce hahaha

and we were late in meeting joyce again hahahaha eat pepper lunch (first time for me) then i was like quite hungry at first cuz no breakfast then the food came i was like sian dun feel like eating -.- then after that cuz no one had any idea what to do then they decided to shop so it ended up something like when i was with my mum and sis, 2 girls 1 guy and im just tagging along haha when nothing to do le they say wan watch movie but no nice movies out yet also, so wasted time walking in the rain to cine only to leave like 10mins after we went in the building lols and then? wan play bowling? wa piang go all the way back to amk mrt and that caroline doesn't know her way around her place. see lah! ask father fetch too much le right!

played 3 games of bowling lol i won the 2nd round o.o haiz now i think about it... (fk why does it always get emo) last time used to play with melvin and glenn then now... i dun even go out with them and i dun have contact with glenn at all zZz... pri school frens that drifted so far... and yet it seems ok with other frens that i nvr meet for so long.. sat night band when i saw gordon it was like still the same as last time although its been 6yrs since i seen him amazing eh.. lol

wed going to vice house again =) and this time vick is with us to go ssc hahaha i think will swim( if nvr rain) play lan and probably anything else we can think of hahaha
thurs is posting result for PAE -.-
fri mayb go play bowling again
left 2 weeks
not going overseas le (probably nxt yr june haiz... )
and i suddenly dun feel like gaming that much... lol although lv70 le
and my sis's fren coming over tmr....................
SOMEONE CALL ME GO OUT PLS!!!! T.T

2007-12-07T06:35:00.000+08:00

hahahaaha omg its 6.35am NOW hahahahaha played dota with vice from 2? wah siao seh now hungry hmm we won like 3 rounds out of 4 first round lose -.- but dam nice still hahaha

this is like the 2nd time we play so long but difference is i not at his house. and im surprised my mum din wake up cuz she always does hahaha oh wells had my fun =)

ahhh nxt yr wun get to do this crap =.=" no one to dota with me le T.T haiz nvm nxt yr de nxt yr then say. i wanna go sleep le hahaha

tata~

2007-12-05T12:45:00.001+08:00

i seriously don't know what to say to you. Firstly, going to vice's house was planned long before and the first time i told u was i wanted to stay for a week, but i decided on 2 nights after that. Such a simple thing and yet u still do not allow? just 2nights at his house and he's going to Australia next year. Is it that difficult? Is it too unreasonable? I wouldn't be able to stay with him for A YEAR and 2 nights is too much?

The holiday that you planned was not a holiday for me basically because dad told me he wants me to learn something there. So from my point of view, you are just trying to lie to me and bring me in. You may really wanted to have a holiday but why there? Why a place that has totally no entertainment? Brunei just isn't a holiday destination for me.

The thing that you wrote on the board this morning just told me that you had not thought of anything from my point of view. I know you want a break from your work but why can't we go somewhere else?

But now forget about that. I have more troubles than that. If im a teenager, i wouldn't want to go in, i would want to play. If im a son, then i would have to go in since i was asked to by my dad. If im myself, then i would never had expected this to happen and so sudden that im unable to take it.

So how am i supposed to react? both my parents want me to go but i don't want to. So am i supposed to say NO? and even when i said NO the answer is still YES. i expected that. i couldn't run from it. So i had to prepare myself to face it but it's not easy. So whatever the case is i decided that i will go in brunei myself and YOU and sis can go somewhere else for a holiday. Fair enough? Well then you are not left out now are you? and don't think that i'm left out because this was my decision. So now you have a chance to go somewhere u really want to. well then i suppose this settles it and i'll make sure u read this by today.

2007-12-04T03:11:00.001+08:00

hahahahaha guess where i am now...? at home... FK im supposed to be at my cousin's house... plan before Os was stay for 1 week at viceroy's house now i say 2nights and my mum said NO just on the day that i was going and sunday also dun let me stay at home to play wth

what is this sia after Os im worse off than before Os... if i regret not going to vice's house to stay nxt yr i'll just kill myself -.- basket... 2nights also cannot, sat wan go friend's house stay also cannot, play till 3, 4 am also cannot this cannot that cannot then ask me go and help dad wtf stupid... nicely this yr christmas in brunei HELL WITH YOU holiday ah? u lying through ur teeths right kaoz forget it... i cant be bothered...

lucky i went out with yew tong, jia qi and kevan for soccer and lan today if not i'll just be wasting the day off..

2007-12-02T01:04:00.000+08:00

o.o i got a feeling wun get to play basketball since rachael couldnt make it on thurs -.- then become friday afternoon sian and i need to chiong lv!! argh stupid tzy make me rush T.T currently im lv64 hes lv68 haizzz nvm nvm 3rd job 3rd job!

cant wait for monday to wed ^^ i shall pack all my games hahaha

2007-11-30T02:53:00.000+08:00

wah head pain sia.... play too much maple le... lol i sort of gave up on that DK too far away and i dun like the 4th job so i went back to my dit now lv62 haha but i think really play too much le... everytime 3 or 4am sleep siao sia... and tmr not going badminton at cck... zZz stupid heng khit book 1 hr at 8am to 9am siao sia.. lucky ivan told me... if not i go there sure kill someone sia waste my time..

well glad we sorted that out -.- oh wells.. so troublesome...

aaahhhhhhhhhhhh nxt monday go viceroy's house stay till wed!! thurs morn go play bball with zb and rachael but i haven told zb that she's going o.o then friday nothing... k quite busy liao and my money running out!! ><

2007-11-28T02:08:00.000+08:00

hmm i was playing maple and talking with joel about the past yr... and i realised that i really miss the times we spent in art so much... joel was right.. now got no ivan to stun at, no yew tong to laugh at, to richard to be disgusted with, no kenneth to joke around and he added, no me to gay with -.- lol i can actually remember almost everything we do in the art room, the staying back, the rushing of work, the paintings that all happened this yr

i suppose it just suddenly hit me real hard that im leaving sji and my teachers and friends... for the past few weeks i've been going out with my classmates so its like we are still together but in the end we will all be going separate ways... and now i know that it is really hard to find friends, true friends those who probably will always be by your side but you never know. i suppose this is how it really is, just you and your friends pulling each other along the way...

and now my mum is asking me to go in brunei, like.. the 3 of us, my sis my mum and i, to go in together... she's saying it as a break, but its really to get me to see my dad's business.. if you are asking what it is, its basically selling some spare parts stuff and i have like little interest in it... but what can i say if my parents want me to go and learn some stuff?

i think i made a really big mistake this yr was that i trusted or believed too much in a person.. i really don't know what to say.. You told me to tell you my problems, probably the first to tell me that, but yet in the end both of us messed up.. i tot u could probably understand me, like the first person to do so, but i guess you are just like everyone else is? right now joyce isn't talking to me at all, cuz she's afraid she might give me the wrong idea that she's giving me a chance and that's just crap totally.. so what if i liked her, so what if i thought mayb i had a chance? and even when i told her that i accepted it but we are still friends and yet u ignore me like this? im quite lost at what to do... ignoring me like this isn't something a friend would do... but forget it, its you who are unable to accept it not me and i don't care anymore

for those who are reading this dun say i emo k... its just like this.. oh well im going back to mapling =)

2007-11-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

omg i feel like killing ronney... idiot... my legs... chiong so much for what sia... i think i tmr die liao la... leg sure cramp..

cycling twice in a week is not very fun.. lol no lah actually it is cuz i haven gotten to cycle for like 2yrs le? lol geez im bored now and a little hungry..

2007-11-22T03:16:00.000+08:00

lols i've been doing nothing all day but eat, sleep, play maple dota, cycle, watch movies, swimming and all the crap hahahahaha not even working liao... haiz long story dun wan type out also.. well i must say sorry to yew tong lah at first all say wan paint then in the end see the wall scared le... and that.. that... stupid fked up guy... gives me the creeps lah.. mayb i'll say what happened on that day some other time lol

i wan a dragon knight in maple... but if i wan to get it by this holi means i have to stay at home practically everyday... so no life sia, so just decided to play and see how far i go lol

when i was going back today from east coast cycling... i thought about some stuff and i decided that i would keep choosing a path until i am at the right one lol then i contradicted myself cuz i thought... how the hell am i supposed to know if its right.. but i decided not to think so much hahahaha

2007-11-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

simplicity... too bad the world isn't that way ronney... if the world was that simple you wouldn't be feeling the way you are now(or were)
then again its not that complex... i suppose it depends on the people around you or the surrounding.. sometimes a simple action and yet you look too much into it then it becomes something else? and yet sometimes things are so obvious but you don't see them..
all i have to say now is, i totally do not feel more relaxed than i was before Os although i get to play and go out but the things just stay in your head

the worst problem i cant get over is probably "why am i doing this?"

2007-11-17T03:16:00.000+08:00

crap im beginning to hate the PAE exercise... and my mum doesn't want me to go to CJ and yet ziyang and sameer probably going there and with 9 minus 2 cca points i can't go to NJC or Hwa Chong(like duh, 3points to go there wtf man) so its like no art in JC for me cuz i dun wan to go Nanyang either, then... sameer say mayb he will go ACJC after first month in CJ that's so crapped up cuz what if i choose to go there then well done no one's there -.-

then again CJ got nothing nice... and i'm thinking mayb go MJC but my mum say she'd rather i go AJC if i were to choose MJC so how? here cannot there cannot, 7 points can't go VJC either(if onli i had higher chinese but i dropped in sec 2 fk!!)

and i was thinking exams were hard, choosing is harder ._."

2007-11-14T01:06:00.000+08:00

lol i totally agree with zy lah... its so darn boring lah other than facing the comp there's practically nothing to do sia... staying at sameer's house is like onli 1 day out of the whole holiday? and im having a hard time getting all the 203 students... its like no one replied me except for kenneth? -.-"

i wonder what everyone else is doing now... dun tell me sleeping...

2007-11-10T00:00:00.001+08:00

wah piang today spend so much... zzz $30+ sia T.T oh well nvm it was worth it hahaha sakae sushi was dam nice~ but too bad i cant eat much sushi get full very fast lol ><

hmm after that go watch The Game Plan. nice show, has dam funny parts but ending quite predictable leh.. nvm nvm i enjoyed it hahaha then yvan nose bleed again and its like for the same reason as when we watched Balls Of Fury hahahaha got back at like 9.30pm

woots play dota with my cousin hahaha but tio trash like siao i think was like 3 games of 2vs3AI+ insane and all 3 times lose hahahaha too noob liao ><

2007-11-09T00:27:00.001+08:00

ok the night din end well... stupid.... wth did i do wrong to deserve this? it wasnt even my fault and there u are rubbing it in lah not like as if i din thought of all those that u said.. fk lah... i probably just wanted someone to listen to me not to tell me my mistakes when i already know them... i cant blame u either since u are trying to help me but... where the hell is that person whom i need.. i guess that person doesnt exist...
walking the path which i told myself to avoid.. how nice... fk...

2007-11-08T20:42:00.000+08:00

wah today is SO BORING hahahaha

ziyang asked if want to go out at 2+ cuz he also buay ta han liao haha but too bad terry went malaysia, ronney go grandma house, zhihao cant go out and i dunno about the rest le... so we ended up looking for free online games to play lols decided to play Wolfteam, something like CS but i dun think is free for all kills then need to capture bases and all... we played 1v1 so lame lah... run round and round and round then pang pang pang i die he die also both headshot at same time -.- but i think will be more fun if more ppl are playing then can camp at bases hahahaha

before zy ask me go out i was playing wc3 with vice, went to finish off the game we saved last time lolss but so lame lah AI rexed us 2 lanes so we defend like siao then like losing le cuz the push all the way to the throne(that tree thingy) but we won instead... guess why... cuz the 3rd lane that the AI nvr push the creeps pushed in by themselves and went to their base de frozen throne... SO LAME we din even enter their base... then we played a new TD also but i keep dying hahaha ><

Ok Class 203 gathering at jonas's house!! but still long lah 3rd week of December AND he wants the whole class there if possible, i think like some christmas party ba lolss anyway for those who are reading this and was from 203 kindly pass the message around to the rest and i'll start gathering the names of those who want to go soon :) i hope everyone can go

2007-11-08T00:10:00.001+08:00

lols i went to the airport leh... send my dad off lols nxt time i see him will be nxt yr sia.. then in the end i din go sameer's house lol too tired.. then tmr cannot go also... crap..
aiya aiya zhihao's sha qi too qiang le!! hahahaha i wun say anything lah dun worry :)
Os left two stupid mcq science paper... but im playing like siao le hahahahaha but then again getting abit sian of audition... everyday like got ppl break up and all the crap like wtf? then dunno who like who dunno what crap -.- wish cabalSEA was out le... then got nicer game to play...
aiya holiday come need to make so much decisions again.. argh... sux..

2007-11-06T22:54:00.000+08:00

LOL hmm theres a new LCD in the house~ but sads my dad going back tmr and yet i cant go airport cuz of stupid geog paper 1...
i left geog paper 1 and 2 science mcq!!! but nxt monday finish....... zZz......... then viceroy finish le then someone else finish tmr... then got ppl got 1 WEEK TO STUDY SCIENCE AND YET STUDYING NOW pro sia... stupid idiot...
then got someone sms explode again cannot sms me leh.. )): oh wells too bad for me then lol i think she still studying...
ziyang offline... i think sleep le... zhihao probably sleep le also leh hahaha ((: zh u jia liat le lah u... hahahaha ok i shall not say much later i die lolsss
wah piang sian diao nothing to do now....... sian sian sian sian sian lols i shall go... dunno do what... hahahaha

2007-11-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

hahahaha everyone say my blog emo... -.- k lah all the post last time is emo de right but i had to say mah if not very difficult to breathe leh will die one lor haha

ok not bad i just found out my dad thinks way ahead of me... like really way ahead and im not going to worry about my family so much liaox.. (more like i dun wish i have to ever again hahahaha)

anyway.. now that so many ppl seeing ah i dun wan say much le hahahahah ((:

end of the year

2007-11-03T01:36:00.000+08:00

Ok lets see what has been happening the whole year…
Hmm friends that I found closer to me would be ziyang, sameer, ivan, yew tong, zhihao, joel, joey, boyang, terry, yvan, ronney, lu zhi, matthew, george, all the art students, 422 and 203.

Well I must say I did not regret joining art at all though there were times I wanted to give up but heng ahh hahaha got frens like joel, ivan and yew tong in art. Must say a big thank you to them. Joel I’ll never forget the times when we made the claywork haha (dun get wrong ideas idiot hahaha). Ivan and yew tong ah… close frens since lower sec I wun forget u too hahaha well the times we had at kfc I wun forget.. definitely! ( cheese is made of butter!! Hahaha yea right lolsss) tan yew tong u owe me a trip to ur house lah idiot….

Hmm my classmates ahh… haha boyang, ziyang and Donovan I wun forget the Beijing group Bravo! Cuz we trashed Alpha hahaha no hard feelings but I dun like some members there not Isaac lah is someone else u know…( im sure u know hahaha) hmm SAMEER hahahaha! Well thx for this whole year teaching me English, well abit, and chem lols! Well u definitely made the class more cheerful =D zhihao maths rep! haha always got me help that’s why not so tough right hahahaha well you seem a little stressed up competing with ur bro but all the best! Dun lose! Hahahaa later ur bro wack me sia lols hmm ronney u owe me one for the SHE tickets!!! Hahahaha well glad u enjoyed the show anyway lol hmm terry haha ur house is dam nice!! Lol I hope grad night would be fun though have to go back to school the nxt day like wtf… matthew ah blur boy better open ur eyes big big hor nxt yr… take care of yourself.. eh lu zhi ah.. I not sure if I will go back to wushu sia I somehow wan and dun wan zzzz wushu was the main thing I always talked to u about haha well the singing of Chinese songs during Chinese lessons with ziyang was dam funny lah hahaha YVAN I wan go ur house!!!! Hahahaha

Hmm ok lah to all the 422 all the best nxt yr! must meet up ok… dun piang seh everyone sia that’s so idiotic

Ok art… hahaha spend half or more of our time in sji in the ART ROOM u are so dam right lah Richard haha dunno how many hours sia… but I hope everyone got A1 dun break our teachers hearts lols this yr’s batch of art studies rocks! I have to say that lah hahaha everyone is so close to each other its like another class of our own sia.. hmm Kenneth, joseph, richard, ivan, yew tong, joel, Isaac, zhen he, ernest, jared, sean, myself… did I miss out anyone? Lol must rmb each other hor… dun dao if meet on streets ah.. I wack u sia.. lols jkjk its been really stressful this year… so tough but its over! And done with lol all the paper2s done nicely :) and to my art teachers thank you!

Hmm 3 long lost friends… I shall not name hahahaha but I think a few ppl know right… C,J(that’s the jc I going nxt yr so suay right hahahaha… ok not funny… lols) and well one more I din mention much but is Keming lol so long nvr talk to u all sia… 4 years leh siao sia.. but I must say it was a good choice of me finding my contacts book…. Lol aiya aiya sian diao~~ this is so stupid but… wth man I dunno how to say….. lol sometimes I feel like giving up dunno why I am even doing it for… but yet I cant stop? zZz and cuz of Os so long nvr chat with someone… idiot mugger… then meet up with someone also not say went very well(although it was nice to see u again)but mayb too sudden ba… sorry about it… you know.. when sometimes u stop replying my smses I dunno whats going on in ur mind.. half heartedly I want to know but then again im rushing it zzz how did I ended up like this.. ke ming after Os we go out k? mayb play badminton or dota lolss see how
I must say its dam shuang to pour ur sorrows into someone else lol cuz you’ll just feel dam relaxed after that but its not good for the other person anyway hahaha… living without a person to guide u sux.. but there are people who has done it and found their way through.. I shall learn and move on.. honesty seems to be still better than lying and living with the guilt(thx zy) although how much I disliked it when i found out it would change the grade of my geog but it came back lol.. the lonely times im going to spent by myself nxt yr I better get something to do before I destroy myself… ><

june holiday

2007-06-12T14:02:00.000+08:00

wootz!! im at my cousin house now hahaha ^^ yesterday stay till 4am playing wc3 then watch some anime and slept at 5.15am lol the anime was dam funny... well its quite old already Great Teacher Onizuka
its been quite some time since i played till so late.... oh ya i played badminton last night as well hahaha from 6pm to 10pm i think onli crazy ppl like me and my cousin will go home and continue playing comp.
Vice if u are reading this you know you shouldn't be... hahaha go study!!!
i went back to my old house on saturday cuz zy din go for tuition so i had 2hrs of nth to do... it has also been some time since i went back... wa dam shiok sia hahaha
took some old comics and read.... take some old toys out to play lol went to the fridge and took some food to eat... dam happy sia =P
my art teacher said it was fun to observe my working style LOL~ cuz i did some work and went to sleep for 30mins then woke up did somemore and then spaceout for 5mins then continue hahaha
but she says that my work has quality haha so happy to hear that. but i dun find my work nice lollll
she is one of the few that will praise me la... sji teachers are like the best teachers around hahahaha
zzz quarrel with my mum again and all the crap.... in the end also one conclusion she doesn't trust me. she has stayed with me for so long and yet she doesn't understand me. my family's screwed up... everyone there EXPECTS something in return if u did something for someone else... why that...? isnt love unconditional? sad to say... i have grown to become more responsible trying to help out with the finance in the family... trying to take care of everyone... my mum cant carry heavy stuff my sis is just weak and lazy... so i have to take everything that they buy... im not angry abt that... its just that like for example my sis bought a new electronic piano keyboard... i told her to carry it herself then i walk in the front... i turn around i see my mum carrying it....WTF sia i just went there and took it away... u tell me got such a stupid elder sister what will happen....
haiz nvm la... i gtg le hahaha go bathe and eat lunch hahaha cya pplz

zZz exams sux....

2007-05-24T22:59:00.000+08:00

haiz here i am again... fking exams screwed up... 18 for L1R5.. some of u might say that better than u who got 20+... wish my mum will say that..
first thing she said was why so bad..
when she see my eng got A2 its like as if she saw nothing... like as if it was expected..
then my sis is another bastard...
guess wad she thinks that my art is so easy to do.. "why dun u do a few and show the process of how u get to ur final idea? then demolish and remake again .... " blah blah blah
fk u bitch u say u do clay before then u should know that it dries up in 2 weeks or so EVEN if u put water..
u say i'm looking down on u a ITE student and NT student... u probably dun noe wad i say to my frens also... i thought that ITE jiu ITE la big deal meh... fine lor u say i look down on u so be it..
say i talk to u all like as if i am way better than u all... thats probably wad i think now... cb
guess wad my mum said when she saw my form tutor wrote "Desmond is to be commended for the efforts he has made to improve his English Language grade."
she actually said i deproved... WTF...
my sis is probably the ULTIMATE backstabber around...
i give her comments on her work when she ask me to... and she can come and say i look down on her.. dam smart sia..
i know i always say that i wun help u anymore blah blah blah in the end still have to help u...
from now on i shall just try to NOT help u... sounds nice doesn't it?
i get good grades u say i am proud arrogant and all... i get bad grades u say i am getting my retribution for being so proud blah blah blah...
FINE u tell me wad u wan
get good also cannot get bad also cannot so wad u wan u tell me?
i noe i din do well.... but i dun show it... u expect me to cry or something?
even the teachers said theres no use crying over spilled milk...

u onli see my bad points... u come in the room and say why are u still playing? when i actually studied already... u dun seem to see it do u?

zzz... tmr still got art... clay again... u noe i did till my back pain...? u noe that i dun wan to screw it up cuz its going to be placed in the staff room...?

i hate u for making me choose robotics for my cca... i hate u for not letting me join band... i hate u for moving down to ah ma house... i hate u for so many things... but guess what... u are still my mum...
u said.... u noe that i am still hating u... are u telling me that im the onli child who is doing that?

Sister not like sister... cant take care of the family cant help ur mum.. everyday make her angry... everyday say u have to give in to us... everyday say u wan to buy this buy that...
u are a OLDER sibling for a reason...

u noe that when u couldnt go into nanyang poly... i din even say that u were useless... i told u to try and try harder... i noe u were disappointed... i think that u leaving ur project to the last minute was a big mistake... but i din say that i look down on u... i helped u with ur drawing... i gave comments when u wanted me to... why isit that... YOU CANT DO THE SAME?

no one encourages me... i dun even noe the purpose of my life... i dunno wad i am studying for... no one's guiding me... i have to save up my money so that when theres a shortage of money i can help out my mum... when i do that i sacrificed the money that i could use to buy other things for myself... u might think i am being very arrogant and proud that i can save up my money... but do u noe why i am doing it? i am scared that one day we will have no more money... it might sound stupid but its true... and u can spend money and take money like as if u were drinking water...

most of the days are spent trying to find out what i am supposed to do... well i just hope things wun get any worse... Chinese O level is coming... i had been so confident of my chinese in the past... like as if it was a confirm A1... now i look at my marks... its not wad its supposed to be...

June holi not like holi... i noe of ppl worse than me... i just hope everything will go well...
i hope... my sister can be more sensible more responsible... my mum can be more understanding... my father to be there for me...

well i guess if u say that i am proud... i can onli say i am a guy with a pride that tells myself i can't lose to u and sometimes i compare u all to my friends' families... i am sorry for what i have done that made u angry.. i will change... i hope...

LOL i just killed a cockroache.... i think it was out of anger though... i wacked it dam hard like as if i was venting my anger on it... bad timing cockroache....

haiz i go slp le feeling much better now i think its thx to the cockroache.... haha

2007-05-05T19:03:00.000+08:00

REGRETS
1. having such a screwed up sis (sometimes good, sometimes bad and super de not like an elder sister.)
2. that my grandfathers passed away when i was so young and stupid...
3. that im not the older sibling and being so weak...
4. for being such a fool..
5. dropping higher chinese...

GREAT THINGS THAT HAPPENED
1. i got 2 nice cousins!! always play with me de vickie and viceroy thx alot

2007-05-05T18:45:00.000+08:00

hate the fking exams man... and here my mum is going nuts abt my tuition.. she keeps saying how i ignored her when she asked me a qn abt the tuition.. and why i am not getting a chem tuition when i am failing.. i told her i dun wan to have a fail in my O lvs.. so she infers that i am supposed to have a tuition since the start of the yr.. when i couldnt find any fking suitable one.. nvm soon i will join my fren in her chem tuition.. my cousin has been quite busy lately so he cant teach me maths.. so i got my other fren to intro me his tuition.. well i got to try it before i know if its ok for me and here she goes crazy saying that ur phy how then ur cousin how this how that how fk la.. i noe the maths that my fren intro me clashes with my phy but i got to see if its good than mayb adjust the timing abit so i can make it for both.. and she expects me to have an answer now wth la.. she says she know i blame her for alot of things.. of cuz la.. wth wun.. sec4 le suddenly want to move down to our grandma house to stay.. i din want it but thats before i knew the reason why.. she said she didnt want to have any regrets in case her mum moves on(touchwood la) so i cant really say anything la.. i mean like anyone would do that.. but i hate it when she doesnt tell us whats happening and thinks that everything would go as she plans..

they are still treating me as a child lol wadever... too bad for them.. if they dun dare to trust me... their problem la...

i have too much regrets in my life.. but what to do.. its over... i have been thinking.. maybe im just scared.. dont dare to do anything that really crazy or wadsoever..

crap im hungry.... and still got 2 days of testzzzzzzzzzz... nvmnvm... lets go find food...